Don't let the difficulties of the present moments overshadow the reality of God's promises. God's promises still stand. And God's promises are stronger than our failures.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

An Older Woman's Best Advice For Younger Women

I've spent a lot of time alone in my apartment here at the mission the last few weeks.  That leads to way too much thinking.  These are a few random thoughts about things I need to tell my daughters if I haven't already, or I need to tell them again...and again.


1.  Do your Kaegel exercises three times a day faithfully.  If you don't know how, read this article from The Mayo Clinic.    Read it even if you think you know how - some of you (including me) are doing it wrong!  Please trust me on this...if you will do these exercises you will be going strong when other women are bemoaning their aging bladder.  (pun intended)

2.  Tell everyone that you love, that you love them every single day, or at least a couple of times a week if they're far away.  Call them, text them, tweet them, facebook them, or tell them face-to-face, but tell them.  You never know when it will be the last time you tell them.

3.  For every child you have, use that  many Bibles.  Write in them, underline in them, mark dates and events in them.  When you are gone every one of them is going to want "your" Bible (I bet you remember who got Grandma's Bible if you didn't!).  Rotate them so that you use them all....you're leaving a legacy.  If you don't use a Bible find other books that inspire you and have one for each child.

4.  Train up a husband in the way he should go.  :)  Early in your marriage ask him to please hold hands with you any time you're walking together - it needs to be a habit whether he thinks it's manly or not.  Later you will need the support.  :)  Ask him to open car doors for you and help you put on your coat.  These are little things that you will treasure in your heart when the first blush of marriage fades.  I know you can do those things yourself....but let him treasure you in this way.  It helps to keep romance alive when body parts fail you.  :)

5.  Become the wife who responds to the above.  And no I don't mean bedroom stuff.  I mean the little things....make his favorite dessert, tell him to have a wonderful time when he wants to take a boy's trip (golfing, fishing, etc.), and don't make him wear matching shirts.  There's a story behind that matching shirts statement...I'd tell you to ask my husband, but he won't remember it since we were only 18 when I thought that would be the ultimate statement of our undying love for each other.

6.  As much as you are able feed your children organic foods.  You might not be able to buy completely organic but buy what you can.  It's important to their life-long health.

7.  Store brand foods are often as good as or better than name brand.  Make a habit of trying a store brand to try for yourself.  If you don't like it, don't buy it again.  But if you do then over your lifetime you'll save enough to take a cruise.  Well maybe not quite that much, but a new pair of shoes for sure, and a girl can never have too many shoes.

8.  You've heard it before but it's really true - you need girlfriends.  Women need women to encourage each other and to listen to each other.  Do what you must to maintain those friendships - put it on your calendar along with the dentist, the dog groomer, etc.

9.  Have a  mammogram once a year.  Don't skip it, don't put it off, and don't even moan and groan about it.  And immediately after it's done go to your Gynecologist and do that yearly exam.  Your children need you to be healthy so do it for them if not for yourself.

10.  Society will tell you that a size two is the only beautiful size.  Society is sick and wrong.


I'm pretty sure some of you out there could add to this list.  If you'll put it in a comment we'll all learn from your wisdom.  And hey, don't some of you younger women have some advice for those of us who are a little more mature?  That would make an interesting post, don't you think?

31 comments:

Vroomans' Quilts said...

Love your list. I have my children's crucifix given to them at their birth - in a different room - so when I enter that room, I offer a little prayer for that child - they are blessed each day. And they call be at least once a week - we all have an ESP connection and can always tell when someone is in trouble or ill - the calls will fly.

piece peace said...

What a wonderful gift you have given in this post. Thank you for your advice. I will put it to practice.

As a 39 year old, not sure if that is older or younger, I would say it is never to late to start a fitness routine. A body in motion tends to stay in motion. Even if it is just a little walk a few times a week, do it for yourself and for your health. You are worth it!

JCnNC said...

A very thought-provoking post today. My children are my greatest accomplishment and they honor me by becoming the best they can be. Let your children fly. Judy C

Needled Mom said...

Beautiful post with lots of wise advice.

Ray and Jeanne said...

When I was learning to tighten my core after surgery last year, one nurse told me it was like doing a Kegel exercise - lol - that man didn't know what he was talking about! I love your list - you have hit really important things. What would I add? Be optimistic, exercise, and be happy. ~Jeanne

Molly said...

Marlene---Great advice at any age! I love them all but # 8 especially. I would add that it's better to presume the best of everyone, to really listen and to make eye contact....

I also believe that what you do speaks much louder than what you say....so act accordingly!

Mrs. Goodneedle said...

This is a wonderful post that needs to be printed out and posted on the mirrors where women look when they brush their teeth and comb their hair... every day! You are a shining example of wisdom, Marlene. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful post with all of us.

Kathryn D. Duke said...

this is a wonderful and thoughtful list...and true!!

Lori said...

What a great list. One thing I would add is...when you and your spouse argue, stop for a moment and think if this is something that you'll remember and will matter 2 years from now. If it's not, drop it - it's not worth it!

Lea and her Mustangs said...

Oh Thank you Marlene. What a wonderful list. Letting your kids know you love them unconditionall is the most important I think. We have adopted children and they need it extra special.

Lindah said...

Excellent advice. Thank you, Marlene. BTW cough-cough I'm an older 'older woman' and I appreciate those words from a younger woman. :-)

quilt happy said...

very good advise. i am 70 and so many women my age have to wear diapers. push ups cross your ankles if you have to just do it you will be so glad you did someday

Michelle May said...

Love this list girlfriend!

Linda said...

Don't go shopping or buy things because everyone else is doing it. Don't "collect" anything. All you do is create more work for yourself, storing the stuff and keeping it nice. You'll accumulate stuff you eventually don't need or want, and at the least will become tired of. Possessions aren't the beat all to end all as a sign of a happy life. Living simply means living peacefully.

Blue Ridge Mountains said...

Thank you for your list. It contained some very meaningful things for me. PK

Marie said...

Right on Marlene! Love this list. You have it right in so many ways. xxoo

Kelly said...

Wonderful post. I actually made an appointment for an overdue mammogram thanks to you!

(Rose) Mary Briggs said...

So much good advice! A great post:)

Connie said...

You're a wise woman! Amen to all of your list! The matching shirts make me smile. My hubby and I had matching shirts for our first Christmas that his mother made us! Those were the days!

FabricFascination said...

You are a treasure. Love the list. I like what Linda added about not collecting "stuff" and living simply too.

Ruth said...

Love your list. As an older woman, I can relate to several of your points. When we first got married, one of my "rules" was that whoever got up last has to make the bed. That was a winner for me because I always get up first and yes, DH, is still making the bed (and we celebrate 50 years in August)! Once when I went to a shower for a friend at work, we were all supposed to write down a word of advice for the new bride. I wrote down that she should tell her hubby every day that she loves him. Everyone nearly laughed me out of the shower for that! BTW, most of them were divorced, and sure enough, the bride only stayed married to him for a few years. How sad. In an hour I am going on a quilting retreat - some time with women friends is so good!

Sewn With Grace said...

Love this! Thank you for sharing this with us!

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Quilt Hollow said...

Wise advice I say! However...when we were younger did we really want to listen to advice? Hmmmm...wish I can rewind and redo some things differently "now that I know." Hugs!!

Connie said...

Wonderful advice Marlene for women of any age!

Arkansas Patti said...

Number 2 and 8 really hit home. We really need to let our friends know how important they are. Thank you so much for stopping by with your words of comfort.

Garden of Egan said...

Beautiful post.
Thank you for the reminder of what really matters.

tisme said...

I am 54 and a restaurant manager, just stumbled upon your blog and what a great post. The only thing I can add to the wonderful advice is, Smile at someone, say hello to a stranger passing in a store or on the street. You never know how much that little contact can mean to someone. I also make it a point to do something nice to at least one person a day, open a door, let them out of a side street, let them go ahead in a line at a store, whatever you choose. I truly believe what you give, you get. I will be a new follower of your blog.

Purple Pam said...

What a great list of things to do.

Karen said...

Thanks, Marlene. Wonderful blog. Sounds just like you! (Especially appreciated the part about telling our loved ones--our children, most of all--often and freely, how we feel.) Amen.

Sue said...

Lovely post, I had to laugh at the matching shirts though...