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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Drive-Thru Etiquette

If I were queen of the world these would be my rules for using the drive-thru window at a fast food restaurant: (Can a fast food place even be called a restaurant?)

1. If your window won't roll down, don't use the drive-thru. If you have to turn the motor off, get out of the car, and walk up to the window, why not just park, get out and go in? And if you ignore this rule, don't get back in your car after you've paid to wait for the food and then have to get out and go back to the window to get your order.

2. If you are smoking a cigarette or cigar when going through the drive-thru, put it out. Neither the clerk at the window nor the people in the car behind you want to inhale your smoke. It stinks.

3. Similarly, but not the same, if you are dipping or chewing don't spit out the window while waiting for your order. Don't spit out the window for any reason. Don't spit in public or on public property. (Didn't your mother tell you that already?)

4. If there are sixteen people in your car write all your orders down before you get to the order window. Under no circumstances should you wait until you get to the speaker to make your decision. If there are sixteen people in your car there should be no special orders. If you don't like pickles take them off when you get your burger. No, they will not make your drink half Coke and half Sprite.

5. If you have multiple children instruct them to stay quiet while you order or they may end up with liver and onions since the clerk cannot hear over their screaming.

6. Always, always, always end cell phone calls before you enter the drive-thru line. The people in the car behind you do not want to know that your sister is having an affair with her podiatrist or that your husband has "bathroom issues."

7. If you are listening to your IPod take the buds out of your ears before you place your order. Yelling "WHAT?" three times will not enable you to hear the clerk over The Jonas Brothers.

8. Assume you will have a clerk who can't make change until the cash register tells him/her how much money to give you and who will be completely thrown for a loop if you give them $10.25 for a $5.20 order. You're less likely to have a blood pressure spike if you just give them a $20 and let the machine do it's work.

9. If you are driving a diesel truck turn it off while you order. If you are driving a diesel truck turn it off while the car in front of you orders. If you are driving a diesel truck turn it off while the second car in front of you orders.

10. If you are using the drive-thru have your money close by before you get there. Do not make everyone behind you wait while you dig through the back seat, get out of the car and look under the seats, and then dump out the ashtray looking for stray coins.



I know you all can add to this - what do you think ought to be #11 on this list?

14 comments:

Needled Mom said...

With sons who own restaurants (one with a drive thru)how about treating the person taking your order with some respect with "please" and "thank you"? I am always amazed at how rude people can be when I hear what they say.

Osage Bluff Quilter said...

#11, Do Not store your money in your bra! I work a drive up window at the Electric company. You'd be surprise at how many women, (mostly who don't need extra padding,) store their money next to their sweaty boobs!

Sherrill said...

How about "if ordering more than $10 worth of food, go inside to order. The drive-through was meant to be quick AND convenient!!". And amen to your list...LOL.

Jacquie said...

I agree with Sherrill... and I think if you have 16 people in your car you should forget about the drive-thru as well.

FUNNY post, Marlene!

Valerie said...

Make sure you have gas! I was in the drive thru lane one time and it was where the curb is on each side and there was cars behind and in front of me and no way out. Someone ran out of gas!!! It took forever to get out of that lane! I was ready to go home and cook!

Molly said...

You said it all, hilariously! If you have 16 people in your "car" that's a bus! Park it, make them get out and waddle inside, unless you want major meltdowns in the vehicles behind!
Ditto on being polite to the people taking your order. Driving a big, toxic-fume-spewing tank does not make you superior in any way to a person serving you at a minimum wage job, so mind your manners!

Elora said...

PRICELESS, Marlene! You're right on target! The list needs to be posted in the drive-thru lane where drivers would have to read it!

I no longer patronize fast food places, but I sure remember when I did...and your list is right on target!

Thanks,
Elora

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh how hilarious and TRUE, Marlene.... I loved it... We don't go through the drive-through much now--but the same type of things happen when you are in a store--standing in line...

There were about 10 people in line behind this woman at Lowe's once --and she couldn't decide what she wanted... Then when she finally decided, and started to pay, she couldn't find her checkbook... Then she couldn't find a pen... Then it took her FOREVER to fill out the check... It was unbelievable...

SO--my big advice while standing in line is to have your check partially written and ready.... Don't make people wait while you are so unorganized!!!!!

Great post!!!! Thanks for coming to my blog. Where are you in Arkansas? We are near Crossville, TN --and hubby and I LOVE Arkansas. We go to Mt. Nebo and Petit Jean and Mt. Magazine every year --and more.... LOVE it.

Thanks again for visiting. Come back anytime.
Hugs,
Betsy

Tristan said...

hehe!! this is so funny & true!!!

Jody Blue said...

That is some good humor! It also falls under the "sad but true" catagory.

Arkansas Patti said...

Goodness, did you ever nail it. I could chuckle, only because I wasn't in line.
Nothing to add, I rarely use a drive thru. I prefer sit down and relax and retirement gives me all the time I need.

Tracy P. said...

LOVE this! This is why we almost always go in. We *are* several of those people. Not the smokers or the spitters or the diesel, or the phone talkers, though. ;-)

Darlene said...

Here, here! Very well said! LOL

Purple Pam said...

#11. Please be properly clothed when you reach the window!