Camping PostScript

Lest you think I didn't have a good time camping with the children I want to reassure everyone that (now that I've had a couple of nights of sleep) it was about the most fun thing ever. How could you not love spending time with this "little mother" as she scolds her younger cousin about playing too close to the road?

How could you not smile every time this one grinned and showed that tooth that's just barely peeping through? And she grins all the time!

And tell the truth now, could you have denied him the 3rd S'more? Or that last piece of chocolate? Even though you knew that every time we joined hands to say the blessing he squeezed the "little mother's" hand so hard it was all she could do not to yell out loud?

And I'm just gonna tell you right now there's not one of you out there who would have told this one she couldn't sleep with you even though you've been warned that she is a little heater and kicks like a mule! Or who wouldn't have watched Barney with her forty leven times and loved every song and every dance and felt sad every time Baby Bop couldn't find her yellow blankie!

And can't you just see these 4 cousins years from now sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee and laughing about the time they went camping with Grandma and Grandpa? And having watergun fights with Grandpa? And playing Ring Around The Rosie in a camper they could barely turn around in without falling all over each other? And burying each other up to their necks in the sand?

Which one do you think takes after me the most? It must be this one! Look...I think she's blogging! Wonder what her blogspot name is?

www.imsocute.com?

www.imasbigastheotherkids.com?

www.ilovebarney.com?

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him." Psalm 128:3

"Then He put a little child among them. Taking the child in his arms He said to them Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes my Father who sent me." Mark 9:36, 37

Camping....Days 2, 3, and 4

2nd Day:
G10 (at 8:30 a.m.) What time are we going swimming?
Me 4:00
G10 (at 8:45 a.m.) What time are we going swimming?
Me 4:00
G10 (at 9:00 a.m.) What time are we going swimming?
Me I will not scream, I will not scream, I…
B9 I only had 2 s’mores last night…can I have 4 tonight?
G2 Scream…loud
G7 She wants my Leapster but I’m playing with it
B9 Grandma there’s a huge spider in the bathroom. No kidding. Huge. It has 4 legs and everything.
Me Spiders have 8 legs, not 4, so that was probably something else.
B9 Nope, it was a spider for real. And it hopped everywhere.
Me Spiders do not hop, grasshoppers hop.

We decide to make a quick trip to WalMart since my Birkenstocks are rubbing a blister on B9’s toe and his tennis shoes are still wet and sure don’t need to be making the trip to the beach. Besides we need more eggs, because who knew they would all want scrambled eggs, after their chocolate donuts and chocolate Pot Tarts? And we need more drinks, because who knew they could drink that much in one day? They all four want to ride on the cart and can’t understand why when I try to push it the darn thing won’t budge. We find water socks/shoes for B9 after trying on several pairs just in case the others felt better and yes he knew they were all the same size. One wants apple juice, one wants CapriSun cherry, one wants CapriSun grape and one, thank goodness for that one, will drink anything. B9 also wanted to pick out the eggs - he carefully checked three cartons before one satisfied him. Four children, when together in WalMart, do not understand the concept of walking behind each other so others can get around you - they walk in a wad, a closely compacted wad that takes up the whole aisle. Finally, as the WalMart employees cheered, we left.

They ride bikes, they swim, they color all the railroad ties around the campsite with sidewalk chalk, they put together a jigsaw puzzle, they watch a movie, but mostly they eat. G10 meets a friend and the girls all go bike riding. G7, who still has training wheels, gets left behind. She stoically returns to the camper, goes inside, and spends time alone. Eventually she comes out and refuses to ride her bike ever again in this lifetime. When G10 asks G7 to borrow her notebook to write on G7 gets a totally blank look on her face and says, "What notebook?" G10 describes the notebook, everything in it, and where it is. G7 is adamant that she has no such notebook. I think that's called payback. B9, who doesn’t like girls, for some reason refuses to ride bikes with the friend he met and instead hangs out at our camp with G10 and her cute new friend. Hmmmm.
I took 18 pictures. We want to remember everything.

3rd Day:
Grandpa, bless his heart, takes them swimming twice. Except for G2 who has refused to go swimming since the first day. She does not want to go swimming. She does not want to wear a bathing suit. She wants to watch Barney. Thank goodness for Barney.

Upon their return from swimming:
G10 Did she have many poopy diapers while we were gone?
Me Huh? You would want to know this why? Do you want someone asking you if you pooped much today? Ok, I’ve lost it. I haven’t discussed poop since my own kids were little and that was at least a hundred years ago.

The big three get bored. I explain ever so sweetly that if you are bored that means you aren’t using your brain. “Figure something out!” They ride bikes, they swim, they watch a movie, they play with those awful game things that make weird noises. We make s’mores. B9 eats three plus a piece of chocolate. And immediately asks if he can go in the camper now because he doesn’t feel so good. “NO! If you’re going to throw up do it out here on the dirt! Not in my camper!” He’s offended but I’m past caring. I take 3 pictures. We want to remember everything.

4th day:
We are going home! I’m still alive! I haven’t had makeup on in three days and haven’t combed my hair in two but who cares! I’m going home! As they leave my car to get in their parents’ car G7 sweetly asks, “Grandma, when are we going to do this again? Can we go next week?

Camping....Day 1

You might need a little background information for this post. If so, go to Monday's post and read what happened the day before we were to go camping with the four grandchildren. By the way, I have 7 1/3 grandchildren. Thank goodness three were too old for this adventure and 1/3 was too small!

I was supposed to get G10 and B9 on Wednesday but G7 and G2 (seen here in her dress and bow as befits the princess she is) were coming on Tuesday. You know what that means….G10 and B9 begged their Dad to let them come early (this is a custody thing and Tuesday was his day). He relented, and in his defense I bet they begged until he ran screaming from the room. He had taken them to the lake on Monday “tubing.” Just in case you don’t know about tubing it means the children hang on to a big tire inner tube while a boat pulls them around the lake and the children scream “faster, faster”. I don’t watch stuff like that. I have visions of small bodies getting stuck upside down in the tube or falling off and nobody noticing for miles or….well, all the things grandmothers have visions of.




B9 (seen here trying to fit in G2's "truck") gets out of his Dad’s truck yelling, “Grandma, I completely and totally forgot that I had my tennis shoes on when I jumped into the lake yesterday!” “Really.” I replied, “And I guess that’s your only pair of shoes?” as I watched the tennis shoes in his hands drip water all over the ground. “Yep!” “Yes, ma’am” I automatically corrected. I said yes, ma’am and no ma’am 43,722 times in four days. Teaching, always teaching. The children said it, well, far fewer times than me. I loaned him my Birkenstocks, the only pair of shoes I had that might be construed as not completely female. G10 waited until Dad was gone and said, "We didn't have breafast. What's for lunch?" Of course. It's still an hour and a half drive to pick up the other two. And there are no McDonald's on the way.




Eventually I pick up the next two children (G7 and G2). They have enough luggage and toys for a third world country. “My mommy”, according to G7 (the would be acrobat on the left), “likes for us to take lots of toys everywhere”. After driving away, and getting out of earshot from their mother, G7 tells me that they are having a new baby. I (being the informed grandmother that I am) reply, “I know!” It’s a dream come true, she says! Hmmm, that’s not what her Daddy said when he told me. I ask about the missing teeth. With an impossible twisting of her mouth she shows me all four missing spaces and tells me the tooth fairy brought $3. Excuse me? I remember her bringing me ten cents. This could be what's wrong with our world today - $3 a tooth!






G10 is my helper in the car, keeping the others entertained as we happily travel toward Nirvana - the camper! We arrive at the camp grounds and Grandpa has already set up camp, yea! We have/had the nicest camper – still has that new smell, you know, like new cars? It’s a year and a half old but you can’t tell it. It’s pristine. Everything is in its’ place. It has a king sized bed and a full sized shower…heaven on wheels! It’s been to Colorado and back three times. It’s parked beside rivers and lakes. It has not been to the beach because sand would get in it. Sand doesn’t come out. That’s how careful we’ve been with it.

What’s the first thing the four children want to do? Why go swimming, of course! So we gather up beach toys and sunscreen and off we go. We’re walking? What? What do you mean walking, Grandma? Can’t we drive? It’s at least a block away! Uh oh, there’s the beach. It’s sand. They bury each other in the sand, up to their necks. And I think it would have been heads and all if we hadn’t been there to scream “NO”. Sand on their bodies, sand in their hair, sand stuck in their shoes, sand on the towels. What do you mean we can’t shower in the camper Grandma? Why do we have to go to the camp showers? Are their spiders in there? Because I don’t do spiders Grandma! We build a fire, roast wieners, make s’mores. One wants the marshmallow toasted, one doesn’t. One wants only chocolate, one wants only marshmallows. It’s been a good day, relatively speaking. The camper has some sand on the floor and Oreos on the carpet, but floors will clean, right? Bedtime. G2 goes immediately and climbs up into my bed. Of course. I surely don’t expect her to sleep with the other kids, because I know she’s the Princess, right? B9 gets on the mattress on the floor and the two girls on the sofa bed. Now about sleeping with G2: if the sun goes out for a week don’t worry about it because this kid has enough body heat to warm the world for several days. And she sleeps sideways. Except for when she’s kicking and screaming “NO” at the top of her lungs at 1:30 a.m. And 2:15 a.m. And 3:35 a.m. And… Finally I get up and see that all 3 big kids are asleep on the sofa bed, hanging off the edges and one upside down. The mattress on the floor is abandoned and calls my name, but I resist. I took 40 pictures the first day – we want to remember everything!

To be continued.

Diary of a Mad Woman (as in, Insane)

It's Monday, the day before we're taking the four children camping (girl age 10, boy age 9, girl age 7, girl age 2, hereinafter known as g10, b9, g7, and g2). G10 and b9 are here with their "stuff" to put in the camper. The conversation goes like this:

G10 How many nights are we staying?

Me 3

G10 I only have 3 pairs of clean pajamas and I'll wear one tonight and my mom makes me wear clean pajamas every night do I have to wear clean pajamas every night camping because I'll only have two left? (she doesn't breathe between sentences)

Me no you can wear dirty pajamas if you want to

B9 What are we having to eat?

Me Hot dogs, hamburgers, spaghetti, stuff like that

G10 I only like my wienies on a stick, I don't like bread with them, do we have any sticks?

Me yes, we have sticks

B9 Can we take movies? and no Barbie movies! I've got about 20 movies I wanna take

Me you can take a movie but not 20

B9 But I need lots of movies!

Me The idea of camping is being outdoors, not watching movies

B9 Where am I gonna sleep 'cause I don't wanta sleep with any girls!

Me Don't worry, you can sleep alone.

G10 Do we have to take a shower every night?

Me YES! every night you will take a shower and brush your teeth, just like home, cause I'm not the "good fairy who lets children stay dirty and have rotten teeth!"

B9 Are we going swimming?

Me yes

B9 All day?

Me no, early and late in the day so you won't get sunburned

Grandpa (where did he come from?) you can go swimming 3 or 4 times a day

Me (shrieking and envisioning wet towels and bathing suits) What are you thinking!

G10 Are we gonna use the bathroom in the camper or in the campground bathrooms?

Me Mostly the campground bathrooms

G10 But not in the middle of the night, right? cause I have to go in the middle of the night so I won't wet the bed and somebody has to wake me up to tell me to go but I don't want to go outside in the middle of the night!

Me In the middle of the night you can go in the camper.

Me Ok kids I need you to get all the stuff you want to take camping in one spot so we can load it in the camper.

Me Uh, G10, exactly what is all this stuff?

G10 My suitcase with my clothes in it, my Build-A-Bear 'cause I never go anywhere without my Buld-A-Bear, my doll (my second favorite doll because I left Hermione Ranger, my Baby Alive, with my friend Julie), my book, my sleeping bag, and my makeup bag.

Me Makeup bag? You're 10!

G10 I put my toothbrush and toothpaste and brush and shampoo...

Me Ok, ok, ok Could we maybe consolidate some of that stuff in one bag so we don't have so many things to carry out?

G10 I don't have another bag Grandma, do you have a bag cause I can put it in one if you have an extra bag.









I kid you not they were here less than 10 minutes when I noticed these little handprints on my glass door! Can you imagine my shiny, almost new, beautiful, clean camper will look like in a few days? Somehow last winter when I suggested taking the children camping in the summer I didn't quite see it like this. I saw myself sitting in a lawn chair sewing on one of my redwork blocks while children played quietly at my feet. I saw laughing faces roasting marshmallows and making s'mores. I saw napping children while I sat happily by reading my latest favorite novel. Do those ear plugs they make for hunters really work? Cause I think I might better invest in some.

And to top it all off, there's no Internet connection. If you don't hear from me for a day or two (I've left some post dated stuff for my blog but can't get to my e-mail) don't assume I've gone round the bend, though that is possible. I'll be back. Yes, I'll be back. I'm sure I'll be back. Maybe I'll be back.

To be continued....

Katie Sees a Snake!!!!!

Picture this. There’s a big tree next to the woodpile at Connie & Larry’s campsite. Out in front of the woodpile is the burn pit. There’s a camper on either side of that. Curled up at the base of the tree is a four foot water moccasin. When the snake was sighted by Fay (Larry’s 87 year old step-mother) she ran to the camper while Connie went screaming to the picnic table where she contemplated climbing it. Patti, Fay’s daughter, was “indisposed” in the bathroom of the camper, where she began yelling “what’s happening?” The two monkeys, Katie and Dolly, started screaming, hopping up and down, and rattling the cage they were in. Larry, being the only man at the site, knew he had to be the one to kill it. He was in shorts and flip flops and had a big sledge hammer and a pair of fire tongs. I’m not sure what he was going to do with the fire tongs but he needed all weapons available. The women are yelling at Larry, the monkeys are screaming and jumping, the snake is trying to strike the nearest person (Larry) and Larry pins the snake down with the sledge hammer. Fay, remember she is 87, decides she needs to come help him since the two younger women obviously aren’t going to do it so (Mom to the rescue!) She comes out of the camper and grabs a piece of wood off the woodpile so she can beat the snake about the head. Then everyone is yelling at her to get away before she falls down and, finally, the snake is dead – Larry, not Fay, killed it. Picture the bedlam! I almost wish I'd been there. Later that evening I’m sitting in a lawn chair between the fire and woodpile when I think….ok, momma snake is dead, baby snakes are in the woodpile, daddy snake comes home to no dinner, screaming kids, absent momma, and he goes looking for her and what does he find but blood splatters on the grass and me. Time for me to go home!

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary is done! I stitched yesterday until my thumb hurt and I had to take Tylenol but I finished her and she is so sweet…I can’t wait to get her put into a pillow. This morning I got out my herb blocks and the Winter Wonderland blocks and the pumpkin appliqué blocks and tried to decide which to do next. Decisions, decisions. I didn’t bring my sewing machine on this camping trip although I often bring my Featherweight. It’s the perfect size to fit into the basket I use as a coffee table and a small cutting mat/ironing surface is easy to stick in the closet. My dining table has an electrical outlet right next to it and an overhead light and windows on two sides so it’s an ideal spot to sit and sew and watch the birds and squirrels. But I remind myself I brought books to read and puzzles to put together and haven’t done much of either. The one bad thing about getting away from home like this is that you dream of all the “relaxing stuff” you want to do and you’d have to stay a month to get that relaxed!

Here’s a picture of a baby quilt I got sandwiched together before I left home this week. It’s ready to be quilted but I just can’t decide how I want to do it. Any suggestions? This quilt is going to Haley Grace, the daughter of my niece, who was born April 27th. The alphabet letters were machine embroidered and the border fabric is Clifford, The Big Red Dog. Should I just stitch in the ditch or try to outline the letters or something else that I’m not thinking of? I’m going to machine quilt it and I’m ready to start when I get home if I can just make this decision!

We’re camping this week. We came with friends that I’ve mentioned before (Connie and her husband Larry) and their monkey, Katie. We met another friend who also has a monkey - her name is Dolly. Katie and Dolly are old friends who, when they first see each other, look like two women who haven’t seen each other in years – they hug each other and pat each other on the back and laugh and talk nonstop. They also pick imaginary bugs off each other, unlike any women I know, but apparently that’s a loving gesture in monkey culture. They play like small children, tumbling around on the floor and sharing toys and food and cups, playing until they’re too tired to move. They attract a lot of attention in the campground. You must admit it isn’t every day you go for a stroll (to secretly check out everyone else’s camper) and see two monkeys playing in their owner’s lap. I have discovered camping with monkeys is a great way to meet new people cause you can bet everyone who sees them wants to stop and visit. I’m attaching a picture of the girls temporarily resting in Connie’s lap – Dolly is the larger and older of the two and Katie is still a baby sucking her thumb.

This is the view from my camper the first day we arrived. It was a beautiful sunny day, cool enough for a light jacket and perfect for sitting around a campfire that night eating s’mores. Last night it stormed big time, according to my husband. In fact, he said it stormed so bad he started to get up and put his pants on! You couldn’t prove it by me since I slept right through it. What is it about camping that makes you hungry all the time and sleep like you haven’t slept in a week? Guess I had worn myself out stitchin’ that day. I worked on my redwork “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary” as someone named it on a former blog. Here are a couple of pictures of my camper’s living room where I make my quiltin’ nest while we’re out in the wilderness. You can see I brought my roses with me and they’re still beautiful – God does such good work! I’m hoping to finish Mary, Mary today and then I’ll be ready to do three small blocks of herbs (I’m a little behind on a BOM!) before I begin Winter Wonderland. The best part of camping is that you can sew all day with no guilt, no jumping up to do a load of laundry and no vacuuming.