Don't let the difficulties of the present moments overshadow the reality of God's promises. God's promises still stand. And God's promises are stronger than our failures.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Diary of a Mad Woman (as in, Insane)

It's Monday, the day before we're taking the four children camping (girl age 10, boy age 9, girl age 7, girl age 2, hereinafter known as g10, b9, g7, and g2). G10 and b9 are here with their "stuff" to put in the camper. The conversation goes like this:

G10 How many nights are we staying?

Me 3

G10 I only have 3 pairs of clean pajamas and I'll wear one tonight and my mom makes me wear clean pajamas every night do I have to wear clean pajamas every night camping because I'll only have two left? (she doesn't breathe between sentences)

Me no you can wear dirty pajamas if you want to

B9 What are we having to eat?

Me Hot dogs, hamburgers, spaghetti, stuff like that

G10 I only like my wienies on a stick, I don't like bread with them, do we have any sticks?

Me yes, we have sticks

B9 Can we take movies? and no Barbie movies! I've got about 20 movies I wanna take

Me you can take a movie but not 20

B9 But I need lots of movies!

Me The idea of camping is being outdoors, not watching movies

B9 Where am I gonna sleep 'cause I don't wanta sleep with any girls!

Me Don't worry, you can sleep alone.

G10 Do we have to take a shower every night?

Me YES! every night you will take a shower and brush your teeth, just like home, cause I'm not the "good fairy who lets children stay dirty and have rotten teeth!"

B9 Are we going swimming?

Me yes

B9 All day?

Me no, early and late in the day so you won't get sunburned

Grandpa (where did he come from?) you can go swimming 3 or 4 times a day

Me (shrieking and envisioning wet towels and bathing suits) What are you thinking!

G10 Are we gonna use the bathroom in the camper or in the campground bathrooms?

Me Mostly the campground bathrooms

G10 But not in the middle of the night, right? cause I have to go in the middle of the night so I won't wet the bed and somebody has to wake me up to tell me to go but I don't want to go outside in the middle of the night!

Me In the middle of the night you can go in the camper.

Me Ok kids I need you to get all the stuff you want to take camping in one spot so we can load it in the camper.

Me Uh, G10, exactly what is all this stuff?

G10 My suitcase with my clothes in it, my Build-A-Bear 'cause I never go anywhere without my Buld-A-Bear, my doll (my second favorite doll because I left Hermione Ranger, my Baby Alive, with my friend Julie), my book, my sleeping bag, and my makeup bag.

Me Makeup bag? You're 10!

G10 I put my toothbrush and toothpaste and brush and shampoo...

Me Ok, ok, ok Could we maybe consolidate some of that stuff in one bag so we don't have so many things to carry out?

G10 I don't have another bag Grandma, do you have a bag cause I can put it in one if you have an extra bag.

I kid you not they were here less than 10 minutes when I noticed these little handprints on my glass door! Can you imagine my shiny, almost new, beautiful, clean camper will look like in a few days? Somehow last winter when I suggested taking the children camping in the summer I didn't quite see it like this. I saw myself sitting in a lawn chair sewing on one of my redwork blocks while children played quietly at my feet. I saw laughing faces roasting marshmallows and making s'mores. I saw napping children while I sat happily by reading my latest favorite novel. Do those ear plugs they make for hunters really work? Cause I think I might better invest in some.

And to top it all off, there's no Internet connection. If you don't hear from me for a day or two (I've left some post dated stuff for my blog but can't get to my e-mail) don't assume I've gone round the bend, though that is possible. I'll be back. Yes, I'll be back. I'm sure I'll be back. Maybe I'll be back.

To be continued....


Rebecca Ramsey said...

That is too funny.
Best of luck to you!
I'm sure you'll have stories to share!

Heather said...

May the force be with you.

Ivory Spring said...

Hahaha - what a funny post!!! I enjoyed every bit of it. Do give us an update on the actual happenings after you return, okay?

Re: Benartex Family Tree Fabrics - yes, they are BEAUTIFUL! I think they are one of the most beautiful lines ever produced by Benartex in the last couple of years. They just came out this month, I think...

Southern Lady said...

Marlene, thank you for stopping by my Southern Lagniappe blog," and for taking the time to leave such a nice note. I'm so glad it led me to your sweet blog and your funny story about taking your grandchildren camping.

Our granddaughter just turned three and I can relate to the run-on-without-taking-a-breath sentences. She never hushes ... lol.

I'm sure a good time was had by all on your trip and I hope you'll tell us "the rest of the story" when you return. I'll look forward to it.


Karen said...

LOL. That is a really funny post.:-)

You'll have a lovely time and the best thing is, once you return home you can send them back to their parents !!

Molly said...

Diary of a Madwoman indeed! The whole idea of being a grandparent is that you can hand them back to mom and dad, the minute they get cranky or start whinging! Good luck! I wouldn't count on getting much reading or stitching done....But i hope you have a wonderful time---he, he!

Sharon said...

Having just spent 11 hours yesterday babysitting the granddaughters, I can feel your pain! (Mine are 3yo and 5 yo.) I'm exhausted today. I hope your trip goes well and that they have fun and you survive!

Dandelion Quilts said...

Oh that is funny. I was the point my husband asked me what it was all about. I hope the kids come back with a sense of what camping is! You'll live and be stronger for it. ;) Stop on by my blog when you get back, so I know you survived.

Danielle said...

Oh, you brave soul, you.

I hope are are having fun, although I'll be interested to hear about all the quilting you get done!

Your grandkids will have amazing memories though!

Anonymous said...

OMG! It is funny! but I know you will have a blast with the kids! They remind me of the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen"...

Have a great time and bring more stories to share!!

Purple Pam said...

Oh, that was so cute. By the way, did you remember to take some bug repellent? And some sunscreen? And some handy wipes? And some trail mix? And lots of bottled water? And cute bandaids? And some aspirin (for you, not the grandkids). And some non-melting crayons. And a camera? And stuff for S'Mores? I hope you did not forget anything, like the sleeping bags!

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

ROFL! This made me laugh harder than the latter post. Especially your fairy tale vision before they kids arrived:).