Diary of a Mad Woman (as in, Insane)

It's Monday, the day before we're taking the four children camping (girl age 10, boy age 9, girl age 7, girl age 2, hereinafter known as g10, b9, g7, and g2). G10 and b9 are here with their "stuff" to put in the camper. The conversation goes like this:

G10 How many nights are we staying?

Me 3

G10 I only have 3 pairs of clean pajamas and I'll wear one tonight and my mom makes me wear clean pajamas every night do I have to wear clean pajamas every night camping because I'll only have two left? (she doesn't breathe between sentences)

Me no you can wear dirty pajamas if you want to

B9 What are we having to eat?

Me Hot dogs, hamburgers, spaghetti, stuff like that

G10 I only like my wienies on a stick, I don't like bread with them, do we have any sticks?

Me yes, we have sticks

B9 Can we take movies? and no Barbie movies! I've got about 20 movies I wanna take

Me you can take a movie but not 20

B9 But I need lots of movies!

Me The idea of camping is being outdoors, not watching movies

B9 Where am I gonna sleep 'cause I don't wanta sleep with any girls!

Me Don't worry, you can sleep alone.

G10 Do we have to take a shower every night?

Me YES! every night you will take a shower and brush your teeth, just like home, cause I'm not the "good fairy who lets children stay dirty and have rotten teeth!"

B9 Are we going swimming?

Me yes

B9 All day?

Me no, early and late in the day so you won't get sunburned

Grandpa (where did he come from?) you can go swimming 3 or 4 times a day

Me (shrieking and envisioning wet towels and bathing suits) What are you thinking!

G10 Are we gonna use the bathroom in the camper or in the campground bathrooms?

Me Mostly the campground bathrooms

G10 But not in the middle of the night, right? cause I have to go in the middle of the night so I won't wet the bed and somebody has to wake me up to tell me to go but I don't want to go outside in the middle of the night!

Me In the middle of the night you can go in the camper.

Me Ok kids I need you to get all the stuff you want to take camping in one spot so we can load it in the camper.

Me Uh, G10, exactly what is all this stuff?

G10 My suitcase with my clothes in it, my Build-A-Bear 'cause I never go anywhere without my Buld-A-Bear, my doll (my second favorite doll because I left Hermione Ranger, my Baby Alive, with my friend Julie), my book, my sleeping bag, and my makeup bag.

Me Makeup bag? You're 10!

G10 I put my toothbrush and toothpaste and brush and shampoo...

Me Ok, ok, ok Could we maybe consolidate some of that stuff in one bag so we don't have so many things to carry out?

G10 I don't have another bag Grandma, do you have a bag cause I can put it in one if you have an extra bag.









I kid you not they were here less than 10 minutes when I noticed these little handprints on my glass door! Can you imagine my shiny, almost new, beautiful, clean camper will look like in a few days? Somehow last winter when I suggested taking the children camping in the summer I didn't quite see it like this. I saw myself sitting in a lawn chair sewing on one of my redwork blocks while children played quietly at my feet. I saw laughing faces roasting marshmallows and making s'mores. I saw napping children while I sat happily by reading my latest favorite novel. Do those ear plugs they make for hunters really work? Cause I think I might better invest in some.

And to top it all off, there's no Internet connection. If you don't hear from me for a day or two (I've left some post dated stuff for my blog but can't get to my e-mail) don't assume I've gone round the bend, though that is possible. I'll be back. Yes, I'll be back. I'm sure I'll be back. Maybe I'll be back.

To be continued....