This morning as I was reading e-mail I had the news on television and I sort of had one ear listening. For me one-ear-listening means I frequently get things wrong because I can no longer multi task; I think I've mentioned that a time or four. Anyway, what I think I heard and think I saw out of the corner of my eye was that a new business had opened up somewhere that allowed you to come in, don protective gear, and throw glass somethings at a wall and break them into a million pieces. This process was recommended for times when you really need a little stress relief, or to express a little anger. Say you find out your spouse has a mistress. That kind of small stuff that sends you over the edge. Small stuff? That's not small in my book; that's more like Mt. Everest but whatever. It made me think about the times that I might want to avail myself of this service.
1. The neighbor, who ignores all reasonable and respectful requests to keep her dog on a leash, allows this giant, huge, monster of a dog to poop right next to my driveway where I get out of my car. Did I mention he's a large dog? That means it's a large.... well you fill in the blank.
2. I'm trying hard to get through WalMart in a timely manner and a gentleman stops to ask questions of an employee who's trying to unload a crate of items and get them onto a shelf. The employee's crate is blocking half of the aisle; the gentleman and his cart is blocking the other half. I say excuse me. This "gentleman" looks at me, raises his eyebrow, and turns back to berate said employee about the confusion in the store with the remodeling project that's going on. He doesn't move. Meantime my ice cream starts to drip onto the floor.
3. My husband continues to use the dining table as a repository for his hunting cap, his jacket, his newspaper, his mail,....despite repeated warnings that I might run screaming into the night. I think he would like to see this occur since I haven't run since Eisenhower was President.
4. My brand new one-size-fits-all socks don't. Instead they stick out 2 inches in front of my toes.
5. My two favorite long sleeved shirts have disappeared. Since I'm a tad bit on the modest side and don't remove my clothes until I'm in my own bathroom or bedroom this is a bit disconcerting. The big dog from #1 likes to take things from the carport and drag them out to the street but my shirts aren't likely to be on the carport. Unless my memory is worse than I think it is and I got undressed out there some time in the past. Hmmm, I could ask the neighbor but I don't think I want to know if I've done that.
I could think of some other examples but I don't want you to think I'm an angry person or even a stressed one. Really I'm not. Really.
Please join me on this one. When would you like to throw a few glasses, or plates?
Photo by Flickr
25 comments:
I saw that same report, and yes, I would love to throw some things. Like last night when hubby was drying a couple of dishes for me and I told him where the bowl went. He got mad because I told him where it goes and he likes to just shove things in the cupboard. And then again this morning when I was putting together a table runner, and I ended up with pinwheels instead of the hours glass pattern. Just put them together wrong. Oh well. It stays as pinwheels!
I have just started following you........love your blog and your quilting projects! Fun to see what everyone else does!
Marge
I could stand to break something when...
I am driving on an interstate in the left lane behind another driver who is attempting to pass a semi but just kind of hangs right off the side of his front bumper and doesn't move along. This means that I am hanging about even with his trailer which is not my favorite place to be. For pete's sake if you pull out into the hammer lane to pass, put your foot in it! Can you tell I recently experienced this?!? Only numerous times on vacation a week ago. I know, I know, a little road rage-ish but hey, I am what I am!
And if the one-size-fits-all socks are too big for you, send them my way. The one-size-fits-all items are always too small for me!
Whew, thanks thanks for allowing me to break some glass Marlene. I feel so much better now.
I have a very lived in and cluttered house. I'm always playing catch-up. So I take a day and try cleaning the counter top, floor, etc. off so you can at least see the counter or the floor. So what does my family think, Oh- an empty space- somewhere to dump more stuff. The next day you can't tell I've did anything. So why do it, right?
LOL - I don't think I should get started right now because I am sitting sipping my decaf spicy chai tea and unwinding and I wouldn't want to have to go make a second cup of tea and have a second biscoti with it. I derailed my diet enough. But suffice to say, I can think of a few things that would make me want to throw something at that glass. Like the bagger who repeatedly put my meat in the bag sideways so the juices drip through th bag ripping it and making a mess all over the place. And the neighbor who puts a tacky fence up every year just around the time I entertain a lot, and the mail lady who gives me other peoples mail and gives my mail to other people. OH DARN - see what I did. Now I need that second cup of tea (and biscoti of course!)
Would like to throw something or strangle some one when...
just got settled down for nap and the phone rings...I have caller ID so sometimes I answer it and some times I don't...but the phone call has interrupted me and my rest...I know this is just me and not an earth shattering thing.
Seeing some of the garments/outfits people wear to church...guess I am really showing my age.
Certainly am enjoying your verbal slant on life...keep it up.
People talking loudly on mobile phones near me. Arrrggggghhhhhh!!!
When I come home at the same time as my husband and start preparing dinner, washing dishes, taking care of the kids while my hubby sits in front of the tv waiting for dinner then humphs that I can't sit and watch a show with him because I'm too busy cleaning the dishes which (in his words) can wait till morning and I can just get up a bit earlier to take care of them.
Ah, funny you should mention this today. I'd like to throw things when dealing with the local government over my property taxes. Going on three years now of them messing them up and causing us to pay nearly twice what we really should. And the real kicker? I home school. Ninety percent of property taxes here go to fund the public schools. So we're paying twice for something we don't even use! Arrrgh!
Marlene, you are funny. Glad to hear all husbands are alike. Mine puts dirty ball caps, keys, wallet, cellphone on my kitchen counter. Drive me crazy, but you still gotta love the ole boys at the end of the day!
Right now, I am not in the breaking glass mode, but it will come. It always does. This is a cute post. I really enjoyed knowing that others feel this way too at times.
Hmmm... when I'm mad at myself... this would feel really great!
There have been a few times when things were out of my control and I just wanted to scream but the situation was much more life or love threatening than what you described.
I'm a Taurus and it takes a bit to rile me but when I start steaming, better get out of the way!
Mama Bear
Oh Marlene, you would have this today, I think I could throw something now due to going to the Dr. and she having to put me on high blood presure medicine. My husband can ramp and rave if he is upset (His is very low) and I hold everything in. Maybe that's why I'm having to get on it. I just don't want to take any medicine, but I will. Wonder if I throw something it would go away...
Hugs,
Bonnie
I get in the mood to throw things sometimes, too. I loved the one about your hubby leaving everything on the dining room table! My gang loves to hang all their jackets and sweaters on the chairs at the table.
The main people I'd like to throw things at are the owners of hunting dogs. They (the dogs, not the owners) are half starved creatures that take up at the first house they come to after their owners let them out of their truck to 'run'~namely at ours. They get into our dog's food, chase our cats, kill our chickens, etc.
Once, I called an owner (their numbers are on the collars) and the man started giving ME directions to his deer camp!! The nerve! I told him said dog would be tied out by my mailbox with a bowl of water until he was picked up. I feel sorry for the dogs~but the owners. . .
Marlene,
you may need to scoop a few horse-sized poops, but trust me; leaving them in a nice newspaper package on your neighbors doorstep with a friendly note just might convince them that there might be a problem. As for the glass-breaking...Murphy's Law is very strong in my veins. I would probably end up in the hospital looking like Frankenstein fresh out of a blender. Keep your chin up and roll with the punches. It builds character, which means a few more days of this and you will be a cartoon!
Big Hug! Monica
When I've spent the day cleaning and my family comes home and within 10 minutes it looks like I did nothing.
Hence the reason I sew instead of clean. The sewing stays done.
When I am in a hurry and the rest of the world is talking on the cell phone and swerveing all over the road and I can't pass!...Is that even a sentence?
I am in my happy place right now and don't even want to start what i could do. I will take a deep breath and blow it out and smile:)
I used to be the office manager for an auto glass shop. I can truly attest to the immense satisfaction of going out to the dumpster to pick up glass and smash the crap out of it. I found it very satisfying! :-)
I keep a few cracked plates in the garage for occasions that need them. You wrap them in an old rag to stop bits flying at you, then go about pounding it with a hammer, really hard! Curse and scream if you want. Then when you're finished, the whole thing is already wrapped for the garbage bin.
The other thing I've been known to do, is drive out to the freeway, and scream at the top of my voice for as long as I want! No one can hear you, or at least, if they can, they're strangers you'll never see again.
You are such a dear, Marlene -- your honesty really struck a chord with me! :)
Okay, since you kind of got my ire started.... I would like to throw a few things when I can't find something I misplaced and even after combing through the entire house. The other thing is when I just finished cleaning the kitchen/breakfast area, and things mysteriously pile up again on the counter top and everywhere...
Thanks for letting me vent! :)
Have a great night!
Call me when you go to throw things - I'll go with you - nothing in particular to throw things about - just might enjoy the throwing.
yes, I too have had ''moments'' but if I threw glass I would be the only one to clean it up ( because I am the only one who cleans messes regardless of who made them because I can not stand a mess-) and I refuse to pay someone to let me throw their's but I could toss a few other things- LOL
I can not think of a glass tossing moment right now but I see some here that would put me in the mood as I too have experence )-
have fun and put your safey glasses on :-)
hugs meme
Just came here and saw your remark about the dog problem. You know you usually cannot teach adults anything, but dogs can learn. We had a neighbor with 2 huge horse sized dogs...and yep they far preferred our yard. We tried a number of things, including some very awful smelling stuff spread about the yard, and then the gallon jugs with water in them about the edge of the yard...those things did help some. What seemed the best solution and the dogs seemed to get the point, was whenever my hubby left for work (very early before dawn), he would pick up with some paper towel, a big pile...and heave it into the dog's yard as he drove by...in time, those dogs seemed to get the point and quit visiting us. Might be worth a try...I do think moving it at night is best however. Again, adults do not learn well!!
Another thing that helped was having a watering system set up...where you could go someplace around the back of the house, etc. and turn it on, etc. during time dog was visiting...that helped too. Dogs usually do not like being interrupted by water surprises during such times.
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