Don't let the difficulties of the present moments overshadow the reality of God's promises. God's promises still stand. And God's promises are stronger than our failures.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

It’s Tough Being A Woman

At my church we’re doing a study of the book of Esther, written by Beth Moore.  We’ve seen the introductory video and done the first week’s “homework” and today we’ll follow up with the discussion of that and have Week One video.  It’s a good study and it’s really made me do some thinking this week.

It’s Tough Being A Woman – that’s the subtitle of the study.  Beth did a small survey asking women to name the three things that make it tough to be a woman.  Oh the answers she’s gotten!  Some hilarious, some profound!  One woman said, 1.  Hormones  2.  Hormones  3.  Hormones    There are days I’d sure agree with her!

This first week we’ve thought about this statement, “It’s tough being a woman in another woman’s shadow.”  For Esther that meant living in Queen Vashti’s shadow:  Queen Vashti refused to come and be shown off when Xerxes ordered her to.  It’s possible that he wanted her to be naked, except for her crown, in front of this crowd of drunk party goers.  It’s possible she was just too busy as she was giving a party of her own at the time.  It’s possible she didn’t want to be ordered around like that.  Whatever her reason, she refused and was banished from the kingdom.  She was the most beautiful woman ever seen so Esther not only had to “compete” with that but she was following a disobedient woman so you can bet that was something that was discussed in that household!

There are other reasons it might be tough to follow in another woman’s shadow that you and I might live with…being a second wife after the “perfect” wife, being the daughter of a perfect/very very bad mother/grandmother, being the younger sister of the girl who wins all the prizes in school.  I’m sure there are as many shadows as there are women. 

So here’s your question today girls.  First, tell me three reasons (or one if you can only think of one) why it’s tough being a woman.  I don’t think any of us would change and not be a woman but there are certainly times when it can be difficult!  And if you want to elaborate, why it’s tough living in another woman’s shadow and how you succeed at it.


Rita said...

I like being a woman and would not change it for the world. At the same time unless you have a good man in your corner life is hard. There is no one to help with the things you do not know how to do unless you can pay for it to be done. There are good men out there but in my neck of the woods the men are selfish and unkind for the most part. My father and my step father were both good men. I miss them. My husband left after my father died because dad was not here to hold my husband accountable for our wedding vows. He also had much money socked away and I had no way of knowing because his business was with his brothers. The accounts were called "draws" and I did not learn of them until years later. He now has a huge lovely brick home and treats his grown step children as his only children. His biological children who he can be very proud of were tossed aside. There are good men and I know that. But I'm near retirement and not sure I want to take another chance.
Thanks for letting me vent a bit.

Anonymous said...

I sometimes think we as women are our own worst enemies. As a rule we are very hard on each other and don't seem to support each other. Seem even jealous of each other. Maybe the woman next door whose husband left her will look at our husband next. That sort of thing.

I am the wife of a cheating husband and I chose to stay. Years later I am still not sure I made the right decision.

I think men have it easier as a rule.

Mainly a midwife said...

First let me say that I just love Beth Moore Bible studies. I think we are starting Esther next month! Woohoo!
I think it is tough to be a woman. I'm more sensitive and crier easier thanks to my God given hormones. Thinking about my kids growing up and leaving can set me on a 30 min crying jag (and they are only 7, 5 and 7 months old). I mean..that doesn't even make sense!

Tracy P. said...

Wow. I am half way through the same study, Marlene. It's another good one.

I am as blessed as a woman can be, so my comments don't even belong in the same box. However, right now I would say that it's tough being a woman when your daughter is experiencing the emotional roller coaster common to our gender. Sometimes we collide on the hills. Second, it's hard being a woman when you feel like everything related to the family's functioning depends on you. And you only allowed enough time to be fully responsible for maybe half of the people total, erroneously thinking that the other people are big enough to accept at least partial responsibility, when in fact, they did not.

Lori said...

It's tough being a woman because

1) Men have it way easier going to the bathroom outside. As someone who has camped many times over the years, I do have to say I'm a little jealous over this one! :)

but on a little more serious note...

2) women are too hard on each other. I work with mostly men and enjoy it. There just isn't much pettiness with men. If there is a problem, they blow up and it's done with. Men tend to not keep things on a loop that surfaces time and time again.

3) and I feel like I am the one who sometimes has to hold it all together even while someone in my family might be having a meltdown. This one is probably more of a personality trait than just being a woman.
I wonder at times "who is my rock when I struggle"? But I know even when others are available -- God is my rock!

and one more I have to wholeheartedly agree with is

Memaw's memories said...

1. Most women have the main responsibility for raising children.

2. We are the ones who get left behind when the husband has his mid-life crisis and wants a younger, prettier ornament on his amr.

3. We have to be the glue that holds things together when all the rest of the world is in chaos.

4. When you go to buy a house or car, the salespeople are very condescending to you.

I could go on, but you only wanted 3.

Karen said...

Love Beth Moore. We have a small group from my Church that meets weekly at my house doing Breaking Free-Powerful stuff!
Sure being a woman is hard, that's what the Fall is all about but we do have a God that walks with us everyday, everywhere through it all. And hopefully, we have Sisters in Christ that prop us up when we need it!
The hardest part of being a woman is Dealing-dealing with what comes our way through our husbands, kids, extended family, circumstances we will never understand, dealing with the choices we make and the consequences that come (sooner or maybe Years later), loss-of family members, friends that move away, death: just dealing with the life that we are living and taking each day as it comes.
I wouldn't change being a woman for anything, esp. when I look into the faces of my children and grandchildren. What precious treasures!

Lea and her Mustangs said...

Now I will try for the third time to write this comment. Hope the parts don't all show up. Anyway - I love Beth Moore studies. I heard her at a womens conferance in Houston a few years ago. So three reason being a woman is difficult. 1. Being the older sister of a sickly younger sister who "could do no wrong". We are good friends now but it took years. 2. Feeling like I am the dumping ground for my kids when they have a problem. Don't go to Dad, he would get upset. 3. Feeling like all my friends have moved away and I feel very isolated at time. Bob goes to work, I stay home. Those are my three things. Probably could have a dozen but don't want to appear like a whiney old lady.

Cindy (Letters From Midlife) said...

For me the hard part about being a woman is not being able to turn off my mommy's heart. Even though my kids are almost all adults now I can't give up the role of mom. I'm not sure I need to really, but I do need to learn how to adapt it from being the main caregiver to being on the sidelines, waiting if they need me but not stepping in on my own.

Arkansas Patti said...

I love being a woman but really wish I had a man's metabolism and the ability to turn wrinkles into interesting character lines.

Jody Blue said...

I need to get a Beth Moore study. I like being a woman, but as with anything there are things that make it a challenge, what makes us good at the job of being a woman is when we rise to meet the challenge. Self imposed expectations. I've never thought of Vashti's point of view before, it puts a whole new perspective on what took place.

Maggey and Jim said...

I too love being a woman and am married to the same man for 52 years.

Having the responsibility of the home and children is hard.
Competing with men in the work field.
Being strong when your children or grandchildren are hurting.
Keeping your faith strong in the time of despair.
There are thousands of answers to this and as I read the comments so much depends on your life.
Thanks for making us realize how much we do love being a woman, or not!!!

Anonymous said...

Marlene, I also took the Ester study. I love to study the WORD of God, and most of all I am so happy to meet and read about another Sister in Christ and one that loves quilts. I'm sure there are plenty of quilts in heaven! There just has to be! :)