Camping....Days 2, 3, and 4

2nd Day:
G10 (at 8:30 a.m.) What time are we going swimming?
Me 4:00
G10 (at 8:45 a.m.) What time are we going swimming?
Me 4:00
G10 (at 9:00 a.m.) What time are we going swimming?
Me I will not scream, I will not scream, I…
B9 I only had 2 s’mores last night…can I have 4 tonight?
G2 Scream…loud
G7 She wants my Leapster but I’m playing with it
B9 Grandma there’s a huge spider in the bathroom. No kidding. Huge. It has 4 legs and everything.
Me Spiders have 8 legs, not 4, so that was probably something else.
B9 Nope, it was a spider for real. And it hopped everywhere.
Me Spiders do not hop, grasshoppers hop.

We decide to make a quick trip to WalMart since my Birkenstocks are rubbing a blister on B9’s toe and his tennis shoes are still wet and sure don’t need to be making the trip to the beach. Besides we need more eggs, because who knew they would all want scrambled eggs, after their chocolate donuts and chocolate Pot Tarts? And we need more drinks, because who knew they could drink that much in one day? They all four want to ride on the cart and can’t understand why when I try to push it the darn thing won’t budge. We find water socks/shoes for B9 after trying on several pairs just in case the others felt better and yes he knew they were all the same size. One wants apple juice, one wants CapriSun cherry, one wants CapriSun grape and one, thank goodness for that one, will drink anything. B9 also wanted to pick out the eggs - he carefully checked three cartons before one satisfied him. Four children, when together in WalMart, do not understand the concept of walking behind each other so others can get around you - they walk in a wad, a closely compacted wad that takes up the whole aisle. Finally, as the WalMart employees cheered, we left.

They ride bikes, they swim, they color all the railroad ties around the campsite with sidewalk chalk, they put together a jigsaw puzzle, they watch a movie, but mostly they eat. G10 meets a friend and the girls all go bike riding. G7, who still has training wheels, gets left behind. She stoically returns to the camper, goes inside, and spends time alone. Eventually she comes out and refuses to ride her bike ever again in this lifetime. When G10 asks G7 to borrow her notebook to write on G7 gets a totally blank look on her face and says, "What notebook?" G10 describes the notebook, everything in it, and where it is. G7 is adamant that she has no such notebook. I think that's called payback. B9, who doesn’t like girls, for some reason refuses to ride bikes with the friend he met and instead hangs out at our camp with G10 and her cute new friend. Hmmmm.
I took 18 pictures. We want to remember everything.

3rd Day:
Grandpa, bless his heart, takes them swimming twice. Except for G2 who has refused to go swimming since the first day. She does not want to go swimming. She does not want to wear a bathing suit. She wants to watch Barney. Thank goodness for Barney.

Upon their return from swimming:
G10 Did she have many poopy diapers while we were gone?
Me Huh? You would want to know this why? Do you want someone asking you if you pooped much today? Ok, I’ve lost it. I haven’t discussed poop since my own kids were little and that was at least a hundred years ago.

The big three get bored. I explain ever so sweetly that if you are bored that means you aren’t using your brain. “Figure something out!” They ride bikes, they swim, they watch a movie, they play with those awful game things that make weird noises. We make s’mores. B9 eats three plus a piece of chocolate. And immediately asks if he can go in the camper now because he doesn’t feel so good. “NO! If you’re going to throw up do it out here on the dirt! Not in my camper!” He’s offended but I’m past caring. I take 3 pictures. We want to remember everything.

4th day:
We are going home! I’m still alive! I haven’t had makeup on in three days and haven’t combed my hair in two but who cares! I’m going home! As they leave my car to get in their parents’ car G7 sweetly asks, “Grandma, when are we going to do this again? Can we go next week?

Camping....Day 1

You might need a little background information for this post. If so, go to Monday's post and read what happened the day before we were to go camping with the four grandchildren. By the way, I have 7 1/3 grandchildren. Thank goodness three were too old for this adventure and 1/3 was too small!

I was supposed to get G10 and B9 on Wednesday but G7 and G2 (seen here in her dress and bow as befits the princess she is) were coming on Tuesday. You know what that means….G10 and B9 begged their Dad to let them come early (this is a custody thing and Tuesday was his day). He relented, and in his defense I bet they begged until he ran screaming from the room. He had taken them to the lake on Monday “tubing.” Just in case you don’t know about tubing it means the children hang on to a big tire inner tube while a boat pulls them around the lake and the children scream “faster, faster”. I don’t watch stuff like that. I have visions of small bodies getting stuck upside down in the tube or falling off and nobody noticing for miles or….well, all the things grandmothers have visions of.




B9 (seen here trying to fit in G2's "truck") gets out of his Dad’s truck yelling, “Grandma, I completely and totally forgot that I had my tennis shoes on when I jumped into the lake yesterday!” “Really.” I replied, “And I guess that’s your only pair of shoes?” as I watched the tennis shoes in his hands drip water all over the ground. “Yep!” “Yes, ma’am” I automatically corrected. I said yes, ma’am and no ma’am 43,722 times in four days. Teaching, always teaching. The children said it, well, far fewer times than me. I loaned him my Birkenstocks, the only pair of shoes I had that might be construed as not completely female. G10 waited until Dad was gone and said, "We didn't have breafast. What's for lunch?" Of course. It's still an hour and a half drive to pick up the other two. And there are no McDonald's on the way.




Eventually I pick up the next two children (G7 and G2). They have enough luggage and toys for a third world country. “My mommy”, according to G7 (the would be acrobat on the left), “likes for us to take lots of toys everywhere”. After driving away, and getting out of earshot from their mother, G7 tells me that they are having a new baby. I (being the informed grandmother that I am) reply, “I know!” It’s a dream come true, she says! Hmmm, that’s not what her Daddy said when he told me. I ask about the missing teeth. With an impossible twisting of her mouth she shows me all four missing spaces and tells me the tooth fairy brought $3. Excuse me? I remember her bringing me ten cents. This could be what's wrong with our world today - $3 a tooth!






G10 is my helper in the car, keeping the others entertained as we happily travel toward Nirvana - the camper! We arrive at the camp grounds and Grandpa has already set up camp, yea! We have/had the nicest camper – still has that new smell, you know, like new cars? It’s a year and a half old but you can’t tell it. It’s pristine. Everything is in its’ place. It has a king sized bed and a full sized shower…heaven on wheels! It’s been to Colorado and back three times. It’s parked beside rivers and lakes. It has not been to the beach because sand would get in it. Sand doesn’t come out. That’s how careful we’ve been with it.

What’s the first thing the four children want to do? Why go swimming, of course! So we gather up beach toys and sunscreen and off we go. We’re walking? What? What do you mean walking, Grandma? Can’t we drive? It’s at least a block away! Uh oh, there’s the beach. It’s sand. They bury each other in the sand, up to their necks. And I think it would have been heads and all if we hadn’t been there to scream “NO”. Sand on their bodies, sand in their hair, sand stuck in their shoes, sand on the towels. What do you mean we can’t shower in the camper Grandma? Why do we have to go to the camp showers? Are their spiders in there? Because I don’t do spiders Grandma! We build a fire, roast wieners, make s’mores. One wants the marshmallow toasted, one doesn’t. One wants only chocolate, one wants only marshmallows. It’s been a good day, relatively speaking. The camper has some sand on the floor and Oreos on the carpet, but floors will clean, right? Bedtime. G2 goes immediately and climbs up into my bed. Of course. I surely don’t expect her to sleep with the other kids, because I know she’s the Princess, right? B9 gets on the mattress on the floor and the two girls on the sofa bed. Now about sleeping with G2: if the sun goes out for a week don’t worry about it because this kid has enough body heat to warm the world for several days. And she sleeps sideways. Except for when she’s kicking and screaming “NO” at the top of her lungs at 1:30 a.m. And 2:15 a.m. And 3:35 a.m. And… Finally I get up and see that all 3 big kids are asleep on the sofa bed, hanging off the edges and one upside down. The mattress on the floor is abandoned and calls my name, but I resist. I took 40 pictures the first day – we want to remember everything!

To be continued.