This morning as I was reading e-mail I had the news on television and I sort of had one ear listening. For me one-ear-listening means I frequently get things wrong because I can no longer multi task; I think I've mentioned that a time or four. Anyway, what I think I heard and think I saw out of the corner of my eye was that a new business had opened up somewhere that allowed you to come in, don protective gear, and throw glass somethings at a wall and break them into a million pieces. This process was recommended for times when you really need a little stress relief, or to express a little anger. Say you find out your spouse has a mistress. That kind of small stuff that sends you over the edge. Small stuff? That's not small in my book; that's more like Mt. Everest but whatever. It made me think about the times that I might want to avail myself of this service.
1. The neighbor, who ignores all reasonable and respectful requests to keep her dog on a leash, allows this giant, huge, monster of a dog to poop right next to my driveway where I get out of my car. Did I mention he's a large dog? That means it's a large.... well you fill in the blank.
2. I'm trying hard to get through WalMart in a timely manner and a gentleman stops to ask questions of an employee who's trying to unload a crate of items and get them onto a shelf. The employee's crate is blocking half of the aisle; the gentleman and his cart is blocking the other half. I say excuse me. This "gentleman" looks at me, raises his eyebrow, and turns back to berate said employee about the confusion in the store with the remodeling project that's going on. He doesn't move. Meantime my ice cream starts to drip onto the floor.
3. My husband continues to use the dining table as a repository for his hunting cap, his jacket, his newspaper, his mail,....despite repeated warnings that I might run screaming into the night. I think he would like to see this occur since I haven't run since Eisenhower was President.
4. My brand new one-size-fits-all socks don't. Instead they stick out 2 inches in front of my toes.
5. My two favorite long sleeved shirts have disappeared. Since I'm a tad bit on the modest side and don't remove my clothes until I'm in my own bathroom or bedroom this is a bit disconcerting. The big dog from #1 likes to take things from the carport and drag them out to the street but my shirts aren't likely to be on the carport. Unless my memory is worse than I think it is and I got undressed out there some time in the past. Hmmm, I could ask the neighbor but I don't think I want to know if I've done that.
I could think of some other examples but I don't want you to think I'm an angry person or even a stressed one. Really I'm not. Really.
Please join me on this one. When would you like to throw a few glasses, or plates?
Photo by Flickr
