A Horror Story

I’m a creature of habit. I’ve confessed that before but I’ve come to find a certain comfort in my habitualness. Today was the seventh week of a Bible study I led at church (Stepping Up by Beth Moore, a study of the Psalms of Ascent). We begin at 12:30 but I try to get to the church about 12:00 to get everything set up. For seven weeks I’ve left home about 10:00 to run my errands and today was no different. I got my allergy shots, one in each arm (yesterday I had a flu shot and pneumonia shot, one in each arm). Yuck! I went to the post office where I stood in line for about 15 minutes. Let me just interject here to say, girls your government is hard at work saving us money. The temperature in the post office was approximately 55. No kidding. Everyone in line was shivering. I picked up some lunch and ate in the car.

At 11:10 I entered Walgreens. I had called in three prescriptions early this morning and since I do Express Pay I knew I could pick them up and be out in a hurry. But first I wanted to do a little shopping. I’m a coupon shopper so I carefully went up and down the aisles searching out my bargains. I was about half way through my list and close to the back of the store where the pharmacy is so I stopped to get that part done. Clerk #1 was working the drive thru window. Clerk #2 was in the back counting pills. Pharmacist #1 came over to wait on me. She whispered to me that one of my prescriptions wasn’t ready – they were out and wouldn’t have it until later in the day. I guess she was whispering because it was a (whisper) feminine product. I was ok with that…I’m agreeable…no problem. Wait! Clerk #2 heard her (good ears, huh?) and said my feminine product had been delivered and was in the “back” but she did…not…have…time…to get it. Pharmacist #1 snapped at the clerk that she would just get it herself. I’m sure she was thinking she was a pretty high priced supply clerk – I was thinking that! So I wait while she cuts the box, types a label, gathers everything up and returns to me. Computer #1 was down, computer #2 was down, ah ha! Computer #3 is working so she entered my items (total $45) and handed me the ticket to sign. I “Express Pay” with my debit card and as I started to sign I automatically noted the total…..$395.49. Excuse me, I think there’s a problem. Pharmacist looks like a deer caught in the headlights. By this time all computers are down because someone, somewhere, is uploading a software program. On the Walgreens computers. In the middle of the day. She calls the manager.

The manager arrives. He’s about 12 years old. No kidding. It’s 11:55. No kidding. He has to go to his office to “find the transaction” so he can credit it. His office is at the front of the store by the photo lab. Ok I say but I’m really in a hurry now. I’ve been waiting 25 minutes so far. He returns with whatever paperwork he needs. A credit can only be given at computer #3. Which is now down. I have to go. If you could just trust me to… he says. I say, “Honey, I don’t even trust my husband with $400! As you can well imagine by this time there is an audience who thinks this is hilarious.

Now one thing I haven’t mentioned is that I’m wearing my Stephens Ministry sweatshirt. This means I…cannot…be…ugly. I really want to be ugly. Finally, at 12:05 I give up and say, “Aaron,” because we’re on a first name basis now, “I’m gonna’ have to go. But at 3:00 I’m gonna’ be back at the drive thru window to get my credit and my prescriptions.

I know you think this story is over. Nope. At 3:00 I pull up to the drive thru. She says my stuff is locked in the safe in the office at the front of the store by the photo lab. And she can’t go get it. I have to go in. It’s been 3 days since I took anything for my arthritis so to say I don’t really want to walk any more than I have to is understating it. But I drive to the front, go in to the photo lab. Where I am told that my stuff has been taken to the pharmacy. At the back of the store. Yep. The back. Finally, transactions done I ask for a copy of the credit ticket. Because she didn’t offer me one. But she only has one copy she says. She can make me a copy but the copy machine is…….you guessed it, at the front of the store, by the photo lab.
I couldn’t make this up.