Diary of a Mad Woman (as in, Insane)

It's Monday, the day before we're taking the four children camping (girl age 10, boy age 9, girl age 7, girl age 2, hereinafter known as g10, b9, g7, and g2). G10 and b9 are here with their "stuff" to put in the camper. The conversation goes like this:

G10 How many nights are we staying?

Me 3

G10 I only have 3 pairs of clean pajamas and I'll wear one tonight and my mom makes me wear clean pajamas every night do I have to wear clean pajamas every night camping because I'll only have two left? (she doesn't breathe between sentences)

Me no you can wear dirty pajamas if you want to

B9 What are we having to eat?

Me Hot dogs, hamburgers, spaghetti, stuff like that

G10 I only like my wienies on a stick, I don't like bread with them, do we have any sticks?

Me yes, we have sticks

B9 Can we take movies? and no Barbie movies! I've got about 20 movies I wanna take

Me you can take a movie but not 20

B9 But I need lots of movies!

Me The idea of camping is being outdoors, not watching movies

B9 Where am I gonna sleep 'cause I don't wanta sleep with any girls!

Me Don't worry, you can sleep alone.

G10 Do we have to take a shower every night?

Me YES! every night you will take a shower and brush your teeth, just like home, cause I'm not the "good fairy who lets children stay dirty and have rotten teeth!"

B9 Are we going swimming?

Me yes

B9 All day?

Me no, early and late in the day so you won't get sunburned

Grandpa (where did he come from?) you can go swimming 3 or 4 times a day

Me (shrieking and envisioning wet towels and bathing suits) What are you thinking!

G10 Are we gonna use the bathroom in the camper or in the campground bathrooms?

Me Mostly the campground bathrooms

G10 But not in the middle of the night, right? cause I have to go in the middle of the night so I won't wet the bed and somebody has to wake me up to tell me to go but I don't want to go outside in the middle of the night!

Me In the middle of the night you can go in the camper.

Me Ok kids I need you to get all the stuff you want to take camping in one spot so we can load it in the camper.

Me Uh, G10, exactly what is all this stuff?

G10 My suitcase with my clothes in it, my Build-A-Bear 'cause I never go anywhere without my Buld-A-Bear, my doll (my second favorite doll because I left Hermione Ranger, my Baby Alive, with my friend Julie), my book, my sleeping bag, and my makeup bag.

Me Makeup bag? You're 10!

G10 I put my toothbrush and toothpaste and brush and shampoo...

Me Ok, ok, ok Could we maybe consolidate some of that stuff in one bag so we don't have so many things to carry out?

G10 I don't have another bag Grandma, do you have a bag cause I can put it in one if you have an extra bag.









I kid you not they were here less than 10 minutes when I noticed these little handprints on my glass door! Can you imagine my shiny, almost new, beautiful, clean camper will look like in a few days? Somehow last winter when I suggested taking the children camping in the summer I didn't quite see it like this. I saw myself sitting in a lawn chair sewing on one of my redwork blocks while children played quietly at my feet. I saw laughing faces roasting marshmallows and making s'mores. I saw napping children while I sat happily by reading my latest favorite novel. Do those ear plugs they make for hunters really work? Cause I think I might better invest in some.

And to top it all off, there's no Internet connection. If you don't hear from me for a day or two (I've left some post dated stuff for my blog but can't get to my e-mail) don't assume I've gone round the bend, though that is possible. I'll be back. Yes, I'll be back. I'm sure I'll be back. Maybe I'll be back.

To be continued....

Something New

Earlier this week Honest to Ya Ya wrote about getting a new Bible from her husband for their anniversary. I've been thinking about Bibles ever since I read about hers. Now at my house we're what's sometimes called "Bible poor" but that really means we have way more Bibles than any one household ought to have considering the fact that in some countries people aren't allowed to have even one and in many, many places people simply can't afford to buy one. I don't think I could even count all the Bibles we have! I have my grandmother's Bible, the Bible my church gave me when I completed the third grade, the Bible I carried in my wedding, and probably most versions. I love the King James version for reading the Christmas story and The Word for just sitting down and reading, and the New Living Translation for studying and the Revised Standard version....you get the picture. My mother-in-law gave me my first study Bible long years ago and then years later I found the Life Application Study Bible which quickly became my favorite. I have a couple of other study Bibles that I've bought for particular studies I was doing but none of them have the same kind of notes that my Life Application Bible does. It is big and heavy and, unfortunately, coming apart at the seams (sort of like me sometimes!) Oh I know I could have it rebound but that means sending it off and trusting someone I don't know to put it back together and knowing it won't look the same or feel the same. And what if they read my notes! All the silly little things I've written and the tear stains that make the paper wrinkle and the dates beside particular verses don't mean a thing to other people but they chronicle my life. Then I discovered that this Bible now comes in a "personal size." I looked at it, felt of it (weighed it really), and took the plunge - I ordered it! I know I have lots of others, I know it's rediculous to want still another one, I know all that stuff.



There's just something about a new Bible! Oh, I love the old ones, the ones that I've marked in and written on and that have tear stains and echos of laughter. But a new one opens up the anticipation of new insights and new "ah ha moments." I love the feel of the new pages that no one has touched. I love the thought process of "do I use this highlighter or that highlighter, yellow or blue, and do I write with a pencil or a pen, and should I try to transfer all my notes from my old one to this one or just start fresh). I love putting tabs on all the chapters and writing my name and date on the flyleaf.

It seems to me that our lives are like new Bibles. We've moved several times in our married life. Every time we moved I was apprehensive, even afraid. How could I give up my home, my friends, all that was familiar? There were all those memories associated with my life where I was, laughter with friends, times of worship at my beloved church, experiences with my children. But what I got was a new home to decorate, new friends to discover, new memories to make, a new church to love. I got to make new notes and add new tabs to my life. Eventually when we moved it was without children and I thought that was the beginning of the end but, instead, it was the end of the beginning and the beginning of something new and wonderful - a new chapter. And just like a new Bible, each new chapter brings new delights. Embrace the changes that come to your life. Join a new class, drive a new road, make a new friend, buy a new Bible. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Who's the Smartest Now?

Ok I just love it when this happens. My oldest daughter, Tammy, is a computer teacher. She told me not to tell you she is a computer teacher because she is an EAST Lab Facilitator. I explained that 99.9% of all bloggers won't know what that is but computer teacher they will understand. I have three kids, all teachers, and all of them know waaaaay more about computers than I ever will. Actually, some of my grandchildren know more about computers than I ever will. And the ones who don't are 2 and under. Quite often I call one of my kids, or grandkids, to ask what's wrong with my computer it's doing this weird thing, or how to do something I can't get it to do, or would you please tell your Dad that his computer is really dead this time and he absolutely must fork over the money for a new one and quit using mine. This week my daughter, the computer teacher, called me to ask how to do something on her Google calendar. That's not exactly computer stuff but you get the picture. And I knew!!! I've been telling her forever that I knew more than she did about everything and now she believes it. :)


When my kids were little they were like all kids and asked a gazillion questions about everything they saw and heard and thought I should know the answers. After a while I just snapped and I started answering the whole gazillion questions, whether or not I knew the answer. If they asked, "who is that man?" I answered, "his name is Norman and he lives two streets over and works at the funeral home." I had not a clue who he was but they were satisfied.


If they asked "why is that man driving so fast?" I answered, "his brother is sick in the hospital and he's hurrying to get there." "How did you know that, Mom?" "Oh, I met him 3 days ago at the grocery store and he told me all about it."


"Why don't dogs like cats?" "Well, once there was this dog named Sam and this cat named Charlotte and they were boyfriend and girlfriend and when Charlotte broke up with Sam all of Sam's friends hated Charlotte and then they just hated all cats."


I got so good at it that the lies just spilled out no matter what they asked. After a while they caught on and started asking me questions just to see what I'd come up with. But for a very long time my kids really did think I knew everything. Now of course I know I shouldn't have lied, but I didn't want to warp their brains by letting them think they had a dumb mom! I didn't want them to be ashamed in their own neighborhood. There were a lot of smart people in our neighborhood.


One of the smart people in my neighborhood when I was growing up was Doris. Nobody thought she was smart, especially when she got old. Everybody thought she was crazy, and maybe she was, just a little. After her parents died she lived in their old house and had every single thing her parents had ever had and every single thing she had ever had. She didn't throw away a rubber band or a twist tie because it could be reused. She washed off used aluminum foil and reused it again and again . After her husband died she kept all his clothes and wore them herself because they weren't worn out. When she went to town she dressed in ragged clothes and always had a scarf on her head (so she wouldn't catch a cold and have to go to the doctor). She wouldn't run water through her pipes because she said they were old and the water might leak under the house (she did use the toilet, her one concession to the water issue). When she washed dishes she washed them in a pan and threw the water on her flowers. She had foil on her windows to conserve the heat in the winter and keep out the sun in the summer. When her oven quit about 10 years before she died she just didn't bake anymore. No sense in spending money on that! With the way our economy is now we could use a few of her tips! Water your flowers with leftover dish water and save on the water bill. Cover your windows with foil and lower your electric bill. Quit buying new clothes when the old ones are perfectly wearable, even if we don't like them any more. That's a little extreme but I'm just saying! Doris didn't have a checking account but she did have a savings account, in fact several. She told me often, don't ever have more than $100,000 in any one bank because that's all that's insured in case the bank fails. I thought, seeing her in rags and not seeing her bank statements, Doris you don't have to worry about that 'cause you can't possibly have any money anyway. And besides that banks don't fail in this day and time. You can tell the era she lived through though, can't you? She lived on her Social Security and she saved part of it every month. When she died, well let's just say she could buy and sell me, you and 3 other people. Last week here in Arkansas I heard on the news about a bank that was in trouble. The spokesman said, and I quote, "You don't have to worry if you don't have more than $100,000 in that bank because that much is insured." Bet Doris is up there in heaven saying, "I told you!" She was smarter than we gave her credit for. And I, for one, sure hope she's not looking down from up there watching me spend money on new fabric for quilts when I could be cuttin' up old clothes - she'd be mighty upset!

Finished by Friday

In a previous post I told you that shallowthoughtsfromiowa had suggested we post about everything we finished this week - small or large - and I thought, "what a great idea - if I tell people I'm gonna' write that then maybe I'll actually finish something!" So here are this week's finised accomplishments:

1. Mystery quilt top is complete! Yippee!!!! At our next guild meeting the committee will be showing us how to trim the edges and, I assume, what border to put on it. I'm not saying that I "unsewed" more on this top than any top I've ever made in my quilting life, but it was close. Who woulda' thought getting those last three rows on there would be so tricky! It might have helped if I hadn't tried to talk on the phone, check on my e-mails, do the laundry, and eat some lunch while sewing. And by the way, I wear glasses on a string thing around my neck (so I won't lose them) and I keep glasses on my sewing table, my cutting table, my telephone table, my bedside table, my desk table, oops. You get the picture - they're everywhere. I buy them at the Dollar Tree for a buck apiece so if they break it's no big thing. I only need glasses for reading - it's an aging thing" according to my doctor. I coulda' slapped him. Anyway it happens that sometimes I have a pair hanging on my bosom (love that word!) and a pair perched on my head and a pair on my face. Well, you get the picture. If you do that too I advise you not to eat Peco de Gaya for lunch because it drips - either on the glasses or the bosom. I was gonna' say it's a hassle to have to clean it off your glasses but that's easier than cleaning it off your bosom, especially if God blessed you indeed like He did me.

2. GingerPatches posted this week about a purse she made from a pattern in the newest "American Patchwork and Quilting Magazine" (remember the two magazines I told you I got this week - well this was one of them!) She bragged about how easy it was to make. The pattern uses two tea towels and store-bought wooden handles to make a simple little summer purse. Well Ginger was right - it really did take less than an hour and that included starching and ironing the tea towels. Here's my version! I don't like wooden handles so I used a third towel to make straps and added the little flower pin to the front. The pin was made by my friend Jo. If I make another I would want the straps to be a little longer and, I'm thinking of using a nice heavy fabric instead of the tea towels. I'd also like the purse to be a little larger so..... I know, I never do anything exactly by the pattern, but what's the fun in that!

3. The holly block for Winter Wonderland is done and ironed. But not trimmed, 'cause I won't do that until all the other blocks are finished. I put these pictures on in order left, center, right because this is such a long block but I feel sure the blogger elf will separtate them by the time this post is actually out there in cyberspace so try to picture it as one looooong block.

Now there are a few other things I did this week but they don't have anything to do with quilting. I made 15 bean soup and chicken salad and Peco de Gaya. All that from a gal who hates to cook! I finalized plans to keep four, yes four, of my grandchildren next week and to take them camping for a couple of days. I think I might have been temporarily insane when I agreed to camping with four children, and if I wasn't I will be by the time we get home. And I confirmed the due date for grandchild #8 (January 8) so I can clear my calendar after he/she is born. My daughter-in-law is a teacher and when she goes back to school I'll be babysitting until school is out for summer. Oh, and I got a haircut. :) Whew! It was a busy week....

Front Porch Party

Rhondi at Rose Colored Glasses is hosting a Front Porch party and you're invited! When you live on the lake whichever side of your house faces the lake is considered to be the front. So my deck is my front porch and I'm sharing some photos of my favorite parts. If you were swimming in the lake (don't you wish you were!) this would be the left side of my deck. The gazebo you see in the background is surrounded by azaleas and covered on one side by Carolina Jasmine. You should see it in the spring!




Except for 3 or 4 hours in the middle of the day my deck is shaded by the big old oak and sweet gum trees. In the late afternoons my husband and I like to sit here with a glass of iced tea or cold lemonade or the occasional glass of wine to talk over the day's events. Early in the morning the absolute best place ever to drink my chai latte and read the paper is at this little table. The two small trees beside the swing in the background are dogwoods. And yes, that's bamboo I have in pots beside the table. It screens our deck from the neighbors and creates a small shade of it's own.



Isn't this rosemary incredible? I have several herbs - rosemary, lavender, thyme, pineapple sage in the beds beside the deck and the scents are heavenly!


My favorite place to read a book is here in this lounge chair. I can see the lake, the boats meandering back and forth, and my lilies blooming under the tree, I can smell the herbs, and peace reigns.

I hope you enjoyed the party. I've got lemonade in the fridge and a good book I'll loan you if you want to spend a quiet afternoon with me.

Since this is Thankful Thursday I'll just add that today I'm thankful for blogging friends, quilting friends, church friends, old high school friends, neighborhood friends, and especially for daughter/daughter-in-law friends. I'm blessed with so many wonderful women in my life and each one is a treasure.

Pay It Forward and Other Stuff

Julie at Through the Barn Door, a new blogging acquaintence, is participating in a blogging exchange - Pay It Forward. I've decided to join with her and others in this project which is based on the Movie "Pay It Forward." This exchange focuses on acts or deeds of kindness being done without expecting something in return, just passing it on, with hope that the recipients of the acts of kindness perform their own acts of kindness. So here's how it works. I will make and send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment to this post on my blog requesting to join this Pay It Forward exchange. I don't know right now what the gift will be, and it probably won't be this month but it will be some time this summer, I promise. :) If you are one of the three, what YOU have to do in return is to pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog. So, anybody want to join in?

And in answer to questions/polls on former posts:
BQ#1 - it is an oak leaf hydrangea according to the e-mails and posts I got
BQ#2 - no one seems to be having this problem except me
BQ#3 - everyone seems to be having this problem, just like me
and Tile won hands down over the blue formica! Thanks friends for the helping hand with that issue. I'll let you know if I convince my husband. :)