Don't let the difficulties of the present moments overshadow the reality of God's promises. God's promises still stand. And God's promises are stronger than our failures.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine Love

Tomorrow is the big day. The day everyone talks about love, tells everyone they know that they love them, sends cards and flowers and candy. A whole day dedicated to love. But you know what? If you think about it it's what led up to this day that makes you think about love.

Think back on the last year. Look at your husband: it's everything that has happened in the last year between you that brings you to this place where you're ready to declare undying love. It's the mornings the alarm didn't go off and you both run around like crazy trying to get ready for work and you run into each other trying to get out the door and giggle like school children. It's the times in the middle of the day when one of you calls or texts the other just to say, "I'm thinking about you .... how's your day?" It's the times you're both too tired to cook dinner and someone says "I'll pick up a pizza." It's even the arguments over who's going to bathe the kids..."you do it tonight and I'll do it tomorrow night" and "no, it's not my turn, it's your turn." And it's even the "oh my goodness I forgot to pay the electric bill" just as the lights go out. And it's the times that you sit in the audience as your child sings Jingle Bells on the school stage or in the stadium as your little one tries to put a ball in a basket that's so far above his head he can barely see it....when you turn and look at each other and marvel that together you made this impossibly beautiful, mischievious, energetic, irritating, temper tantrum throwing, drama queen or truck-driving child.

Valentine's Day is like the icing on the cake but everything leading up to that day is the steak and potatoes. That steak and potatoes is what insures that you can look at that man walking around in his underwear and socks and baseball cap and think,

In our every day we see the good and the bad and the in between. In our every day we see the responsible person who pays the bills and picks up the dry cleaning and makes decisions about insurance and savings accounts. Oh, we also see the person who buys way too many fishing baits, the one who watches too many ballgames or episodes of 24, who never cries at all and never, never says he's sorry. But at the end of the day he is there, loving us, giving us his favorite football jersey to sleep in, the keys to his beloved truck so we can haul playground equipment for the primary school project, and with no hesitation, his heart.

If my husband gives me a Valentine's Day card I will love it. If he gives me flowers I'll know he's sick (he's not a believer in flowers!). If he gives me candy I'll know he's craving chocolate. But if he gives me none of these it's not important. He's given me the best that he has. He's given me his love, his loyalty, his respect and his time. Every day. However, he has given me one gift that is better than all of these. He is a man who loves the Lord and loves doing the work God has set aside for him. He has set an example for our children that, if followed, will make them the kind of parents God expects us to be. My parents were married 63 years when my father died. I will never forget my mother saying, "is this all I get?" Sixty three years wasn't enough. And if we live long enough to be married 63 years it won't be enough for me either.


Val said...

Oh this is so good. You said exactly how I feel about my husband. This is priceless. Thank you for sharing. Happy Valentines Day!

Jacquie said...

Oh, Marlene, what a loving, thoughtful post. I love your mother's saying...

Have a Happy Valentines Day with your man!

molly said...

You forgot to mention how he also never ever asks for directions! Because real men would rather get lost in the wilderness..........

Adrienne said...

Happy Valentine's Day, my friend. Your post is excellent, as always. You are so right. It's really just another day when you understand how much love you have every single day of the year. You are blessed. I am blessed, too. ~Adrienne~

Calamity Jane's Cottage, Bonnie said...

Hi Marlene,
Happy Valentine's Day to you and your better half. I hope you have many, many years together.
I love all your goodies you bought on your trip.

Lindah said...

Beautiful! You have eloquently said what so many of us feel, but wouldn't be able to put into words.
Much as I like the icing on my cakes, it is the steak and potatoes that feeds me. Thank you, Marlene.
Happy V'day. And everyday.

Southern Lady said...

Marlene, this was absolutely beautiful and a wonderful way to start my day. I hope your husband read it.

I have a husband like yours (except he believes in flowers, especially for those "no-reason-other-than-he-loves-me" days).

Best wishes to you and your loved ones for a very nice weekend.



Michelle said...

What a wonderful Valentine tribute to your sweetie. I feel the same way about Louie. We have been married for 33 years and it seems like only a couple. God hand picked him for me, so if he should go before me, which I am praying he won't, I will wonder why it was such a short journey too.

You and your sweetie have a wonderfuul Valentine's day, and an even greater weekend.

Amelia said...

Such a beautiful tribute!

The 364 days are just as important as Valentines Day...just think of all the little things that make each day husband spoils me rotten - but on the other hand I do what ever I can to make his day brighter and easier. Having a man that loves the Lord is what makes this marriage so wonderful.

Unknown said...

How sweet! I hope he reads your blog.;D

Anonymous said...


Marge said...

Lovely post, Marlene. I gave my husband a card this morning and he said he didn't even think to get me a card. Ya, I know. Same for the last 44 Valentine's Days! But does it matter? Nope! He is a faithful husband who loves me and the Lord, he is a hard worker, and a good dad and grandpa. THAT is what counts.

Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I worry way more about the "steak and potatoes" than the "icing" days like Valentines Day-so I get exactly what your saying-and I'm glad I do!

Anonymous said...

We're having a low key day around here. It's the church fellowship hall tonight for some southern cooking and line dancing with the "ancients." I'm not kidding. Can you even imagine? I'll try with pictures. And before anyone gets overly exercised about dancing in the church or my use of the word "ancients" to describe my beloved older mentors, you're reading too much into it. Trust me.

Happy love day, Marlene. You're so very right about marriage and loving the one we're with, without all the bells and whistles to go alongside. It's just good enough to be together!

love and peace~elaine

BarbCarol said...

I emailed your post to my husband for Valentine's Day. I'm in Denver visiting my oldest son and family, while husband is 75 mi away in Colorado Springs with the beginnings of a head cold. He's a bit lonely.
Your parents' marriage and life together has always been my goal - only I'm working toward at least 70 years.

Needled Mom said...

This was a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Happey Valentine's Day.

Dawn said...

My husband 'apologized' for not getting me roses, candy or expensive card for today. I looked at him, elbow-deep in grease and grime as he is installing our new water softener...and I explained that there was no need for an apology. He works hard all day so I can stay at home for our children; he makes sure my gas tank is always filled and oil changed; he reroofs the house during his hot, summer vacation....etc.

In other words -- he shows me he loves me by the things he does on a daily basis. That to me is love.

And thank you for such a lovely post. Happy Valentine's to you --such a beautiful lady.

Tracy P. said...

Picture me smiling! Thanks for noticing your husband's many, many ways of loving you. God, grant us all eyes and ears to hear it in THEIR language, the one they speak from the heart every day.

Angie said...

My dearly beloved willingly and frequently - for no particular reason - buys me roses. He knows I love them. But he will never, never, buy a card, not for anything. He is the world's least romantic man (even the roses come with 'can you find somewhere for them?').

But he is the one person in this whole wide world who loves me unconditionally, even if I haven't brushed my teeth yet, even if I keep asking for the moon and he's still chasing after whatever I wanted yesterday. I don't think this man has an enemy in the world, everyone likes him because he is so easy to like.

Loving him is no problem at all!

Angie, xx

Lisa @ Life with 4! said...

this is so beautifully written. my husband is alot like this. not a big romantic, but he shows his love for me in other ways. as wives, i think it's important to focus on positives instead of negatives. appreciate our men for who they are.