This week I had a problem with my Blackberry. Again. I bought it April 18 and within 10 days they had to give me a new one because the first one was being ugly. That's what I call it when technical devices don't do their technical stuff. Anyway, it's been ok since then until this week. Now no matter what ringtone I try it won't ring loud enough for me to hear it.
To solve this problem I took it back to the company from whence it came. Whence...lovely word, don't you think? I digress. They couldn't hear it either. Ha! I know when that 13 year old child working in the store saw my white hair he thought I just didn't know how to turn up the volume. Au contraire. (I used that phrase in a recent post and liked it so I think I shall use it a lot...it sounds so, oh I don't know, French?) I had the volume as loud as it would go. Since I have insurance - and that reminds me of one of my favorite movies "Fried Green Tomatoes" - do you remember the scene where Kathy the actress smashes her car into the car of the young women who stole her parking place and yells at them that she is old and has more insurance? I love that movie. I digress. Again. Since I have insurance he assured me they would replace it.
That lead me to problem #2. We're going on vacation. Soon. For a couple of weeks. How could I possibly go on vacation without a working phone? He agreed that they could overnight it to me if I would pay X dollars which, since I'm old I surely have. No he didn't say that but I read it in his eyes. But first before they do that I should download some new software just in case (about a 1% chance) that would fix the problem.
That lead me to problem #3. I'm not good at download. But I, who believes with my whole heart and soul that "Nice Matters" agreed to try. He gave me a number to call and they would walk me through it. This I did. Talked to a very nice lady, who transferred me to another nice lady who told me where to go to download. I was to do that and call back. Call #2...I can't figure out the download. Not news to me but they very patiently agreed to help and we waited while it tried to download. Which was going to take three million four hundred seventy thousand and one seconds. Or something a little less but you get my drift. So nice lady would send me via e-mail three messages on how to download software, how to back up the phone, how to reconfigure something and how to walk a tightrope above Niagra Falls. Right. None of which worked.
So at this point when I'd made one visit and two phone calls I was no closer to solving my problem than I was when I began. Phone call #3. I said, and I quote, "I'm old. I earned every white hair on my head working with teenagers as a high school principal. I can control a crowd of three hundred screaming seniors the week before graduation or a thousand ninth graders during a bomb threat but I cannot fix this phone. That's your job." Or something very similar. But I said all that in my head, yes I did. And the part about being old and having white hair - said that part out loud. They are Fed Exing me a new phone which will be here in two days.
Sometimes claiming your age can be a good thing.